Friday, January 22, 2016

~Family by Another Name is Still Family~

~Melbourne.....the home of my birth family.....a family until 4 years ago I never knew existed.  This was only the third time I had spent time with all of them since the very first  visit 3 years ago.......only this trip was so different from the first because my birth mother and I were to meet.  I arrived on a Tuesday and Wednesday was to be the meeting day.  Stress over the meet weighed heavy on my heart and my nerves were shot.  I stayed with my oldest brother and his beautiful family only my brother thought it funny to countdown until the meeting.......this added to my already strung out nerves.  I was to arrive with my sister in law and my brothers followed.  We had to stop at some traffic lights and for a fleeting second I Contemplated jumping out the car to avoid the impending meeting.....fortunately I thought of the fright to my SIL and decided against.  A few minutes later we arrived at my sisters where I was to meet my birth mum.  I got out the car only to freeze....tears streaming down my face, I was unable to move.  By this point my brothers had arrived and somehow through either gentle coaxing or just pulling me along ( of which I cannot remember) I entered my sisters and through the darkness (as the blinds had been pulled against the heat of the day)....I vaguely made out the shape of my birth mum through my tears, and gravitated ( or was pushed) towards her.....tears streaming down my face.  After that everything is a blurr......the floodgates had been opened and every emotion, feelings of rejection and everything I had thought I knew to be true then discovered it wasn't came pouring out.  In what felt like an hour but was in reality only a few moments I pulled away trying desperately to get control of my emotions.....to reel them back in.  I escaped to the bathroom to splash my face with cool water and recollect my thoughts.    I knew I couldn't hide in here forever so I headed outside where I sat quietly sipping on the wine my sister had poured.  My thoughts were all over the place matching my emotions in their erratic patterns of logic and illogic.  I numbly remember my birth mother coming outside and chatting quite normally with the others and I remember thinking .....how can she be so calm.....my insides where churning, my nerves frazzled....it was all I could do to sit there and not run out the door.  Instead I got up and calmly walked and then sat on the pool edge distracting myself, watching the kids splash happily, whom were oblivious to the trauma I was going through.  How I got through the rest of the day was beyond me....but I had done it......I had survived the emotional turmoil that was meeting my birth mum and had come out the other side.
   Sleep evaded me....so many questions ran through my head...all of which would remain unanswered as there was little chance of there ever being a one on one with her.....that was made pretty clear to me.  
The day's rolled by and there would be two more visits by my birth mum...each one ending with her regulation offering of her cheek farewell.  Her demeaner was one of calm acceptance....like everything was normal.....but not for me.  My stomach flipped and churned.....how calmly she had forgotten all the cruel words she had messaged previously to this visit....I couldn't forget,  I couldn't forgive not without compromising my own self worth.  Instead I offered respect.....not that it had been earned but more from the manners I prided myself on.  
My visit of 8 days was coming to an end and as much as I loathed to leave my siblings it was time to go home and collect my thoughts.  
I have been blessed with 5 amazing siblings who have not only accepted me but shown me more love in 3 short visits than I have ever had in a lifetime......and for that I am eternally grateful.  I don't know what the future holds with my birth mum or if there even is a future...only time will tell.  I won't close my heart but I will guard it carefully.    


Monday, November 30, 2015

~Weekend Away In Renmark~


~Hubby and I have just returned from a weekend away in Renmark and it was here at one of the vintage shops I found this sweet photograph.  I picked it up and put it down several times before concluding I had to buy it....I am not sure why as it is def not something I would normally buy but I am so glad I did...she is a little darling.~





~Look at that gorgeous smile, twinkling blue eyes and golden curls~



~We went to Renmark to visit our dear friends and while we were there they gifted me with these amazing vintage scales.  I have had my eye on these beauties ever since I saw them in her home 30 years ago (see all good things come to those who wait) so to say I was over the moon was an understatment.    The scales read:  "The Computing Scale Co.  Dayten Ohio U.S.A. Pat Apr.24-1900, May19-1903, Mar.27-1906, style no 166. They are in perfect condition, although I don't think the colour is original but when I searched google it was impossible to find any similar in original colours but I must admit I like the gold so no matter~   I am feeling a little bit spoiled~


~I would think they are sweet scales as they only go up to 1 lb~








~Now on first glance I though this was a trashed houseboat but on closer inspection it was one full of character.  From the old Hills Hoist sporting old bras, to the toilet ontop of the chimney, to a couple of chooks and pots and post of geraniums...it was a delight to hold.  For a gold coin donation one could go aboard and check it out.......as I am scared of everything on the water I was happy to stay land side and admire from afar.  The lovely gentleman who's houseboat it was presented me with a "Rose" which infact was a humble geranium, but pretty none-the-less~


The lush grass and beautiful shady trees next to the river were quite delightful considering we decided to walk from the motel all along the riverfront and down the main street for over 2 hours in 30C heat.


~This sweet little duck had the right idea to cool off~

~Houseboats were moored all along the banks~



~On our way back we stopped ina Garden Center known for its exotic and rare plants and it was here I discovered this beauty.  They had one growing up some old wire and it was lush with beautiful white trumpet shaped flowers, fragrance with a heavenly perfume~   I couldnt help myself and had to buy one....can't wait for mine to flower now~


~Well that was our trip....great company in a great town~

Sunday, November 8, 2015

~Shabby Sweet Christmas Crafts~





~Christmas is going to be here before we realise it and what better way to gift give than handmade.....so here are a selection of my favourite Shabby Sweet gifts you can make....Just Click on the links under the images.....♥~



~Now this would look gorgous as the centerpiece of the Shabby Christmas Table-



~A Scented Room Spray ....perfect for anyone~


~Sweet Pink Pleated Pillow~


~Sweet Candy Cane Sugar Scrub~


~Love the Shabby Colours of this Rag Rug~


~Perfect for Cooking or Display~


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Saturday, June 27, 2015

~Melbourne~


~I have just returned from 6 wonderful days spent in Melbourne getting to know my birth family. It is a scary and somewhat overwhelming experience travelling to another state to pretty much stay with strangers and hope that you click....but def worth the risk...if it didnt work then I would have returned home , put it down to experience, and had no regrets.
     The trip was one I will remember for a lifetime.......I am very, very lucky to have the most amazing bunch of people to call my brothers and sisters.  They showed me more love in those 6 days than I have ever had in a lifetime.    I stayed with one of my brothers and his beautiful family, and my sister in law is one in a million.  She instantly made me feel at home and part of the family.   I even got to meet extended family at a birthday party and was treated to some wonderful entertaining family stories.
     All my life I never felt like I belonged anywhere....I always felt out of sync with everyone around me....never making friends easily...always the loner...always alone.  But spending those 6 days changed everything.......I finally FIT somewhere....and that is the best feeling in the whole world.  No words can describe the happinest I feel inside... a sense of belonging.....a sense of family.
     Leaving them to fly home, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life.  I never wanted it to end.
     Luckily with all the technology available to us these days ...keeping in touch will never be a problem....and while its not the same as a face to face ...it is def better than nothing~





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Friday, June 5, 2015

~Homemade Chalk Paint...& a Pair of Louvre Doors~

~Louvre doors...who thought they would be so hard to find.....I had decided I needed some to make a freestanding divider, photo backdrop etc........when I finally found a pair ......unfortunately they came attatched too, a rather seen better days kind of cupboard.  So in order to get the doors I had to buy this huge cupboard as well.....but a quick stop to hubby's work on the way home soon fixed that.......what I didnt realise that inside the cupboard was a nice little set of free standing drawers......bonus!....def explains the weight...and no I didnt think to look inside ...all I saw were louvres....pretty sure I sometimes suffer from tunnel vision.    Next step was colour choice and I have gone for a grey blue by Dulux called Sky Bus Quater which I will be using as the base for my Chalk paint.   I have made quite a few different mixes of chalk paint over time and the mixture I prefer is made using Calcium Carbonate.  Plaster of Paris tends to get thick fairly quick....I find some of the grouts a bit gritty....and Calcium Carbonate is a fine powder that mixes lovely and smooth.~ (apparently it can even be used in spray guns so I have been told)~

I am going to let you in on a secret that makers and sellers of chalk based paints don't want you to know.  Calcium carbonate is the secret ingredient in alot of very expensive chalk paints.  By using this mineral which by the way is very very cheap to buy you can mix and make your own chalk paint in whatever colour you want (No longer limited to only a dozen or so colours)


Now as to where to buy the powder.......yes its on ebay......at some very inflated prices......but is is also readily available from  Fodder stores for a fraction of the cost.  It is a mineral that is used for animals as well as gardening.  Fodder stores are great as they buy in bulk so you only have to buy what you need (usually by the kilo) and for less than a few dollars per kilo it is great value.
Here is the recipe I use:

DIY CHALK PAINT RECIPE

2 Tablespoons of Calcium Carbonate Powder
1 Tablespoon of water
Mix together to form a smooth paste before adding to 
1 cup low sheen water based paint 
                                    Stir well before use.                                 


To make a litre of Chalk Paint:
8 Tablespoons Of Calcium Carbonate Powder
4 Tablespoons of Water
Mix as above and store in an airtight container between using making sure to stir well before use.

☆.¨´¸☆¨¸.¸.☆¨

As with all chalk paints....
you will still need to finish your piece with a soft wax for durability.



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~Before~

Saturday, May 16, 2015

~Empty Nester~





My daughter moved out today...again.........and although she wasnt around much between her job and social life, it was still comforting knowing this was her home.   I am going to miss her....... but on a positive note I also gain another room which I will turn into a guest bedroom...also handy for those nights when Mr P's snoring gets too loud.    








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Saturday, April 18, 2015

~Learning New Skills~


This week I have been rearranging my sewing room and trying to make it better organised, and with more room to move around and less tripping stuff on the floor.  I have a system when I finish a project I do a really good clean so that everything is put away and I have a clean work area to start the next idea.....I have also been trying to learn Tunisian Crochet by watching YouTube videos.  Dont you just love how you can learn just about anything on the internet..  
Thank you to Beverley from How Sweet The Sound for hosting.

~Happy Pink Saturday~




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My first attempt at Tunisian Crochet