Well I finally spoke to my mum in person today about the adoption and she is still more concerned with who told me rather than answer my questions. It was hers and my dads belief that I never ever find out until after they were gone. Why I dont know....as far as I am concerned they are my parents...they are the ones who raised fed me and clothed me. Sure I am angry and annoyed that they didnt respect me enough to tell me the truth on reaching adulthood. I have said my piece and will no longer bring it up with her, but neither will I let anyone tell me my that although I never grew up with my sister ...that she isn't my sister...this is one case where blood is thicker than water and I want to cherish every bit of contact with her. It wont make up for the unknown years but feels good in my heart knowing she is out there. It would seem I will never have contact with the other siblings although another has joined fb recently and we have exchanged messages, but I think that will be the limit of that. .
This journey was never about upsetting anyone...it was a quest of answers, of finding my beginnings and my heritage....of which I forgot to tell you...I am of Dutch blood. Not sure what that means to me yet as I little to nothing of anything Dutch. Well that covers my birth mums nationality but as I can find no answers, or should I say no straight answers about my paternal father. One minute he is Australian and the next he is American. That I assume will always remain a mystery my birth mum will take to her grave.
This is the last of this chapter until such time as I meet my sister in person.....and that may take a while as finances and health are two issues in the way of that happening any time soon.
Family is important whether blood or not but secrets left untold can fester and the truth always comes out in the end....no matter what.
I can relate to your feelings. My adopted parents knew information about my birth parents, and never intended on telling me. My Dad accidentally slipped something out one day, and I was furious when I realized they knew more than they were letting on. I ended up finding my birthparents in 1992, but never shared my "reunion" with my adopted parents since they seemed to be so threatened by the idea that I know anything about my birth parents.
ReplyDeleteI suppose we are lucking in Australia as the laws surrounding the secrecy of adoption were lifted quite a few years back and adopted children can apply for their files. Birth parents can veto the files to keep their information secret if they choose...I was lucky in that I could access everything but it still requires playing detective to find them and in my case my birth mum denied having me until I showed her proof of who I was and her name being on the birth certificate. There will never be a meeting nor a relationship with her...and thats ok...its her loss.
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